Bolognese and Beyond

Many of you know that I love to eat and cook, no surprise there. What you may not know is that I love both enough to stick my neck out and attend an open-call auditon for a new Fox TV reality cooking show, MasterChef, featuring Gordon Ramsay of Hell's Kitchen fame. How does one find out about these things? A co-worker sent me the Craig's List post in hopes Chef Ramsay would yell at me, and I would in turn, yell back.

First, the initial contact. I sent in my short bio and a recent photo. Holy schnikes - they called me back! A 30-minute call with a casting agent later, I am now needing to make a video no shorter than 15 minutes long to showcase my personality, my cooking skills and why I love food. Oh by the way, can you have that completed and sent to our offices within the next 10 days? Yes, I know it is two days before Christmas - but you're not busy right?

OK video done, check. Now what? A taste test. Food prepared off-site, served to a culinary judge, at room temperature. What pray tell tastes good at room temperature? UGH! Well OK, time to get creative. What tastes good at least lukewarm, transports and plates easily and that I cook well? Bolognese of course! No silly, not the wontons I made in the video, that would be too logical and what would I blog about next?

Make the marinara, season the meat, make the pasta and get ready to go. Driving up to Sur La Table in Kirkland, my husband and I find hundreds and hundreds of people in a line circling the block. All patiently waiting while their carefully prepared dishes are getting to a less-than-room temperature. Lucky for me, I had that phone call a few weeks earlier - I got scooted up to the front of the line and was inside within 5 minutes. With plate, pasta and sauce kept warm in a thermos, I'm ready.

On pins and needles, I place my dish in front of the judge - drumroll please - he takes one piece of rigatoni with a teensy bit of sauce on it and puts his plastic fork down. Then the questions roll:

• Tell me about this dish, why did you make it? Well, I really enjoy making comfort food. This dish was inspired by Assaggio's Bolognese as well as one I had in Portland at Pazzo. I think mine is different than most Bolognese sauces.


• Why do you think it is different? Most sauces have beef or a combination of beef and pork. I add lamb to mine. The lamb must be from New Zealand because it tastes better.
  
• Do you know why it tastes better? Yes, because it is grass fed. (He smiles, nailed that one.)

What other types of cuisines do you cook? What does food mean to you? Things one would expect, and then - Have you ever broken down a side of beef? C'mon really? Who besides a butcher breaks down a side of beef? This show is supposed to be for untrained home cooks that think they cook well and me, well I usually don't have a side of beef hanging around. Breaking down a side of beef - yeah, no.

More questions, more answers. I was standing there being interviewed for about 5 minutes. Finally, he says "OK thanks, go and see Lyle please". What I wanted him was to say "Go and see Tyler" as it appeared that Tyler was the one handing out appointments for second interviews but OK, I'll go and see Lyle. We talk, he asks questions, I answer them and then Lyle tells me to go and see Tyler. Finally - fingers crossed! Over to Tyler I go and she hands me a piece of paper. An appointment time yes??? No, a lovely parting gift for 15% off at the store. Thanks for playing.

The beyond you ask? I started this blog and got a twitter account @chopstixnotreq to start. Be patient as I'm learning. What's up next? You get to laugh at my audition tape and learn how to make wontons. Want my Bolognese recipe? Only if you ask nice.